Lessons in Popular Culture Continued - What We Learn From Romantic Comedies

While we’re bingeing on Netflix to fight the boredom stemming from social distancing, maybe we should take a moment and consider the impact of the media, and popular culture in particular, on our perceptions, behaviours and worldviews. I’ve seen several jokes circulating on social media lately about avoiding the film “Contagion”, but let’s shift gears here! One of the topics that we discuss in my popular culture class is whether - and how! - romantic comedies influence our dating behaviour.

Ames & Burcon (2016) argue that “advertisements, music videos, television shows, and other cultural products subtly (and not-so-subtly) school women as to what men are supposedly looking for in an ideal mate” (p.59). In particular, they point to the genre of romantic comedies, a genre marketed primarily to women, and suggest that the “how to date” lessons found within the genre play an instructional role akin to those found in self-help books. It’s not surprising then that the integration of self-help themes into romantic comedies has become more and more prevalent as well as more and more overt over time. To support their argument, Ames & Burcon analyze several romantic comedies: Swingers (1996), Hitch (2005), How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days (2003), The Ugly Truth (2009), He’s Just Not That Into You (2009), and Think Like a Man (2012).

Swingers (1996)

Swingers follows several unemployed actors navigating the dating scene in Los Angeles. Vince Vaughan’s character - Trent - is the dating guru, providing advice to Mike (Jon Favreau) by laying out the rules for socializing and dating. Among those includes not appearing desperate for companionship by behaving like you’re busy and popular (i.e. by arriving late to a party) and when to call someone you’ve just met (‘the three-day rule’). Ames & Burcon juxtapose two scenes from the film in their analysis - one where Mike gets the phone number of a girl, Nikki, that he met at a bar, and one where he ignores the advice given to him about when to call her and bombs miserably. Even though Mike’s rejection likely resulted from the way in which he spoke to Nikki, putting these two scenes back-to-back in the film, highlighting Mike’s mistake, implies that the advice that he was given was correct.

In addition to validating the dating advice shown in the film, how the advice is presented suggests that there is one right way to date successfully (a theme Ames & Burcon note across all of the romantic comedies they analyze). This advice is even more problematic because it’s often based on gendered stereotypes about how women dress and behave, and what they’re looking for in a man. Ames & Burcon find Swingers to be particularly problematic because many exchanges make sex seem like a foregone conclusion or an expectation of dating. They also argue that, unlike other romantic comedies, Swingers normalizes male aggression by encouraging men to act on their so-called ‘natural’ impulses.

hitch (2005)

Fast forward nearly 10 years to the release of Hitch in 2005. Based on an actual dating coach who went on to develop a number of dating products for both men and women, Hitch is a professional dating coach hired to help men woo the women of their dreams. The film follows date doctor Hitch (Will Smith) as he helps Albert (Kevin James) date his celebrity crush, while Hitch himself falls for gossip columnist Sara (Eva Mendes) who is trying to uncover the true identity of the date doctor.

Like many of its romantic comedy predecessors and successors, Ames & Burcon criticize the film and the opening sequence for being essentialist, suggesting that there is one right way to date a woman and that deep down inside all women are the same and want the same thing - to be swept of their feet with the ‘right broom’. They also note that, like Swingers, the film suggests that women like being pursued and that no doesn’t always mean no. In addition, the use of a male dating coach implies that men know women much better then women know themselves - a theme that is consistent across all six films.

How to lose a guy in 10 days (2003)

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days really puts the ‘how-to’ aspect of the self-help genre in the driver’s seat: Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) is Composure Magazine’s (yes, we know, they couldn’t use Cosmopolitan) How-To Girl and Ben Barry (Matthew McConaughey) places a bet with his co-workers that is essentially a How-To Guide for getting a woman to fall in love with him in 10 days. Ben’s bet combined with Andie’s research for her next article - How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days - sets up the required conditions for the film to play out. Andie tries to intentionally drive away a man using the ‘classic’ mistakes that women make early on in relationships, while Ben tries to do the opposite.

The mistakes that Andie makes such as causing Ben to miss the last few minutes of a basketball game to get her a soda, get him knocked out at a movie theatre, calling him overly sweet nicknames, moving her things into his apartment, crashing his poker night and embarrassing him, and making a scrapbook of photoshopped pictures of their future children are exaggerations but they do imply that there is a right and wrong way to date and act at the beginning of a relationship.

The UGLY TRUTH (2009)

Ames & Burcon (2016) begin their analysis of The Ugly Truth by focusing on the promotional material - the positioning of the hearts in each of the two panels of the movie poster not-so-subtly says that women think with their heads and are more emotional when it comes to relationships, whereas men think with their libidos and are driven primarily by physical desires. These stereotypes and generalizations appear early on in the film when Abby (Katherine Heigl) calls into Mike’s (Gerard Butler) amateur show on public access television.

Despite their rocky start, Mike and Abby become co-workers and he provides her with dating advice - what to wear, what to say, how to act, and what men are looking for. Despite the 15 years between Swingers and The Ugly Truth similars messages emerge:

That men are only interested in sex: Mike tells Abby to “..never talk about your problems because men don’t really listen or care […] When we ask you how you’re doing, it’s guy code for "‘Let me stick my dick in your ass’.”
That sex is synonymous with dating and women should dress to reflect that: During the classic makeover scene, Mike says “Length [or a dress] is very important. We need short enough to see some thigh, but not so short to see vag. Vag says you’re trying too hard.”

In addition, the film also provides information about what kind of behaviours are desirable in a male partner - Mike’s rude and crude behaviour is rewarded at the end of the film as he falls in loves with Abby and the two get together.

he’s just not that into you (2009)

The 2009 film He’s Just Not That Into You is one of the two films that Ames & Burcon analyze that is actually based on a self-help book. The film follows nine 20-somethings in the same city, struggling with different romantic problems whose paths intertwine. This, in and of itself, speaks to a common complaint that many singles have in the dating world - that their city is just too small! Gigi (played by Ginnifer Goodwin) is stood up on a date and befriends Alex (Justin Long), a bartender who teaches her all of the strategies that men use to avoid women. He points out how she’s been misreading ‘signs’ from men and, ultimately, serves as the vehicle for conveying the advice provided in the self-help book of the same name. This advice, like that of its romantic comedy siblings, is essentialist, gendered, and stereotypical.

Think Like a Man (2012)

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Promotional material for the film Think Like A Man proudly proclaims that it’s based on American comedian, businessman and entertainer Steve Harvey’s best-selling book “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man”, which, according to Ames & Burcon, “instructs women on how to motivate men to be in it for the long haul” (p.77, emphasis in original). Each of the women in the film are shown to be readers of the book and Harvey even appears in the film on TV, doing interviews and providing advice. These references to the book are, in effect, sign posts directing the audience to it.

In addition, the film (and book) are criticized for its one-size-fits-all approach, suggesting that all women are the same and want the same thing. It’s also grounded in problematic assumptions surrounding the roles of women and men, the link between sex (the ‘cookie’) and relationships.

So… what?

If you’re still reading you might be wondering why it matters? As Ames & Burcon have previously stated, it’s not one single image or message that impacts us - rather, it’s the habitual, cyclical consumption of such narratives that contribute to brain development and resulting behavioural patterns (p.19). In other words, one romantic comedy is not likely to have an impact on our dating and relationship behaviour or expectations but what happens if we see the same or similar messaging in films and other popular culture products repeatedly and over time?

Not convinced yet? Google “Sex and the City advice” and see what comes up:

And all of these articles appeared more than 10 years after Sex and the City went off the air in 2004, and more than 5 years after Sex and the City 2 (the film) was released.

TeachingJennifer DumoulinMarch 17, 2020Popular Culture, Gender, Romantic Comedies, Film Studies